Evangenosticegalism

Be always quick to take offense at the slightest misperception;
But you really also mustn’t use any form of contraception.
Be sure to rail against those who don’t copy you exactly,
But thus, your behavior must be regulated (to put it matter of factly).

Don’t drink a single drop of any alcoholic connotation;
And here’s a list of uncouth Saxon words forbidden any articulation.
Do not listen to throbbing rhythmic notes, nor sway your body to them;
And any use of old tobacco leaves make sure to swifty condemn.

In fact, there are also other green leaves that you must simply never breathe;
Any friendly house offering devil’s draughts, you must be quick to leave.
To the other sex, not even the slightest physical contact is to be tolerated.
If male, your eyes, to avoid her curves, must be precisely calibrated.

If female, you shall not wear attire that exposes undue amounts of skin.
And all forswear dice, cards, TV, magazines, and movies about sin.
In summary, anything in Christendom that might give earthly pleasure
Is BANNED, since we must not give old Mani’s god displeasure.